Why? Because I know some people will find it confronting. 

Well, yes it is. It's supposed to be confronting. Art is doing a good job if it challenges your head space, sometimes that means making people uncomfortable. 

This is Dan. 

Many years back he was in a horrific accident, and ever since has struggled with the physical and mental scars. 

When we discussed mental health, we were thinking of a way to depict his own battle in one image. It's a tough ask, but the photo speaks for itself I think. 

I'm sure there will be people who don't like this image.  They (perhaps you) will think that it might lead someone to self harm. Personally, I don't agree. Funny that it seems to be people who have never suffered from mental illness dictating what they think is ok to see, ok to discuss. The "experts".  The experts are no more an expert than the ones who suffer every day. Oh no you can't discuss or depict the reality. Just show us the recovery. Doesn't work like that.

People hide away, locked up with shame and self hate. 

This depicts the reality for Dan. Why should we hide that? I can post you a million beautiful sunrises, a million photos of gorgeous dogs, and of course I love them, but it doesn't tell you a story like this photo does. 

The Facebook police will no doubt tell me it's inappropriate. I doubt it would ever make it to the short list on a portrait prize. 

I love that the mental illness stigma is slowly lessening, but it's not gone. All the RUOK? posts are great, but if people cannot see the reality of what people suffer from then it's all hot air and meaningless. "I will forward the chain post on FB but please don't expect me to actually look at anything confronting!, it make me uncomfortable". 

 This is REAL. This should be included in the discussion.

For the more we talk, the more we feel supported and not so completely alone, and that's what can give us the courage to face another day. 

Each week I plan with precious care

the things I leave outside.

I pack them up and place them there

with love and earnest pride

Each time I work to have them waiting

placed the night before.

I know your path will lead today

your feet will pass my door.

I hardly ever hear you,

but I know that you have been.

You leave a trace that you were here

Though my eyes have never seen.

But on one morn, I was caught out

and found under prepared.

The sound of your approaching

had me flying down the stairs.

Pulling on my trousers

Iʼm racing to the gate.

To catch your eye before you go

before you seal my fate.

Spilling out onto the ground

just like my best laid plans.

My heart gives way as you depart

my shame held in my hand.

Itʼs premature collection.

My bins are overflowed.

And now I'm forced to wait a week,

in fear I watch them grow.

The ever growing mountain

of rubbish in my yard

has now become the round-about

around which I drive my car.

And then the folk in China

Tell us that no more

can they take away our pile of shame.

It seems weʼve lost the war.

Oh Romeo where art thou?

Will I ever hear the sound

of your engine strong, that throbbing song?

Where are you to be found?

Recycling man my hero

what will become of you?

Will council grant you leave to go

and find a path more true?

So for now my plastic bottles

pile right up to the sky.

Buried under cardboard stacks

beneath them I may die.

Bin man Oh sweet bin man

I think of you each night.

I hope that youʼll return to me

and set these wrongs to right.

Waiting ever hopeful

that youʼll return posthaste.

For now my house of trash it grows

swelling my hard waste.

Collection however premature

So sweet has found the end.

Into that hole we tip our souls

Farewell to thee my friend.

© Tim Henshall 2019

Please consider helping me get to Bali. Just a small donation from any of you will help. 

Thanks. 

Tim  

Copy and paste the link to go to my Go Fund me page. 

https://www.gofundme.com/photography-for-bali-street-dogs&rcid=r01-155087535898-d7b036f16a234444&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w
 

 I have found that if you have a good idea, more often than not people will at least give it consideration.   It's a bit of a scary prospect pitching a creative idea to anyone, to me my art is part of my self expression, as is my music. 

 This makes it very personal.    

A while back I had an idea to take a photo of Dr.Karl Kruszelnicki in the pose of Rodin's famous sculpture, The Thinker.     

For years I have listened to Dr.Karl and read his books, he is my "Science Hero". He is my go to man for all things science based even though my brain hurts on regular occasions listening to the explanations he gives.          

I hoped Karl would be firstly open to the idea, secondly would be able to make room in his schedule to humour me in going ahead with the project, and thirdly, would like the final result! So, I contacted him, and here we are. 

I find Karl to be very gracious and generous with both his time and his knowledge.  As I set up and conducted the shoot, he and his faithful sidekick Isabelle bounced ideas around, organised weekend engagements and fielded telephone calls. Throughout the whole process he managed to keep his mind on the task of  being a model, and in this case it's quite an awkward and uncomfortable pose. Talk about multi tasking!                                                    

The whole time I was with him, his stream of consciousness was on high. What we hear on the radio/podcasts or  see on TV is who he is in person, there is no stopping the information that  continuously pours out on all matter of things. It feels as if he stores so much knowledge inside his head the overflow just has to spill over, but what was interesting and joyous to see is how it's all delivered with such a sense of excitement and passion.                

I think this passion for understanding is a huge part of why this man is so magnetic to so many people. He loves to learn and discover things about everything around us, and is so keen to share it with everyone else. 

That kind passion and excitement is infectious. 

I did not set out to replicate Rodin's famous sculpture, rather I wanted the portrait to refer to it,  as I believe it is an appropriate way to depict Karl in what he represents, at least, to me: a thinker who spends a vast amount of time and energy gathering knowledge, processing it, and passing it on.    

In the end, I am very happy with the final result and am pleased to tell you that Karl likes it too! 

Mission accomplished. 

Every day on Mount Lampuyang, right next to Mount Agung in East Bali, this woman and her son get dropped off at the base of the walk up to the temple of Pura Lempuyang Luhur, the highest temple in Bali.   

There are 1700 steps plus joining paths. 1700...

Along the path there are 7 temple sites, and it took me roughly 2.5 hours of constant climbing to reach the highest one. 

This lady has a very small stall just beneath the peak, the 3rd last stall out of many, in the least accessible location, where only (from my very rough calculations) 1/10th of the people visiting the mountain actually get to. Most of the visitors, Balinese and Internationals alike, stop at one of the 6 temples below. Every day, she carries her son and all the food she has at her stall up the 1700 stairs, and down again at the end of the day. She has bad knees and a bad back. 

I sat with her and her son for 1/2 an hour, had some food and chatted as best we could about our children, and it was beautiful.          She told me that on a good day, she might make 4-500,000 rupiah. That's $5 Australian. Of course I bought snacks and water, more than I needed,  but what I came away with a lovely photo, a heart warming memory of these two beautiful people, and a good dose of perspective. 

If you walk one or two streets back from the main drag in any developing nation, you get to see the real people, the heart. Here is was a long way from the hustle and bustle of tourist central. The Balinese people are amazing, they are open and warm if you show them respect. I walked up the steps with many families, but only 2 that I started with went all the way to the top, and they were all very happy that I had gone the whole way. "Where are you from?" seems to be the common ice breaker here, but my interaction on the mountain went well beyond that. There were laughs, sighs from tired people, sore legs a plenty. But we made it.

When I look at this photo, its not my best, its basically a snap shot. But for me it holds a very special meaning and it is one of my favourite people photos of any shots I have taken.

Everyone has to eat, pay for the home, the kids and so on. Doesn't matter where you are, the story is very similar. We all get caught up in our own lives, how tough it is for us. If you actually look, there is usually someone doing it way tougher than us. 

We all have our stairs to climb, what matters the most is how you look at them. For this woman, there are 1700 stairs for $5. 

Its all about perspective.  

 

As part of the Australian governments assimilation policy Jack was stolen from his mother at less than a year old and sent off to a boys home to be raised as a white fella. He didn't meet another aboriginal person until he was in his late teens. Only now at 67 he is reconnecting the pieces of his culture and family together. How does a person reconcile that loss? How can anyone expect a child to grow up "normal" when he or she has been stolen and another identity implanted upon them? To expect a positive result is in my mind optimistic at best, and utterly misguided. 

Jack ended up as so many of his generation did, living a life of crime and drugs. He tells me he was a failed cat burglar, and although some of his colleagues had a respect for his 2nd story abilities he was caught over 20 times, and he jests at his own ineptness for this type of work. in the early 1970s Jack and his friend Bob Maza opened the 1st indigenous theatre in Australia, Nindethana, and his talent for acting took its rightful place ahead of his talent as a cat burglar. The entertainment industry is full of all the stereotypical humans; broken, insecure, egocentric, talented and wonderful, many of them searching for identity in an industry where identity is often falsified. For Jack however, it seems his career in the arts has helped him to reconnect, to find himself. He has walked the long way round. A self described "raging heroin addiction" was a coping strategy, and while probably dulling the pain for a short time it doubtless was a double edged sword, one that led to incarceration. Today, Aboriginal Australians make up a large percentage of the people in prison, another bleedingly obvious sign of how badly the "assimilation" has failed. The pain is only worsened by white politicians still currently calling the shots on a treaty, constitution or recognition of the historical (some would argue current)  genocidal agenda of the Australian government.   

Jack's story all too familiar for Aboriginal people in Australia. The policies of the colonial government were specifically designed to breed out the aboriginal population. I for one am very happy that it failed so spectacularly. We could have learnt so much from a culture that has been in Australia for at least 50,000 years, and we are only now 200 years after white fellas arrived, beginning to understand the depth of this amazing culture of our country. For the stolen generation they have a double dose of this missing link, they are the people who are missing the pieces of their own jigsaw. Piecing that together is difficult as the genocidal policies of the government broke the chain, took their families, their culture, language and their stories.    

Jack asked me how he knew me. I replied that he didn't! I simply contacted him after a friend suggested I do so when I was inquiring about him with the aim of meeting and photographing him as he has the right look for my portraiture, one of those faces that tells a story. It is highly likely however that our family members knew each other many years ago at Coranderrk, one of the missions set up in Victoria  to resettle the indigenous people of Melbourne. Jacks great great grandfather John Charles lived there, and my great great grandfather Charles Rolfe was known to frequent the mission and reportedly had a house next door. As a white fella visitor though, there are no records of my relative at Coranderrk, but when i visited 20 years ago the old aunties, then in their 80s, remembered "old Mr Rolfe" fondly from when they were young girls. I would love to know more, but suspect there will be precious little for me to find. I need my own "who do you think you are?" team.

During our chat Jack tells me of a documentary made by Ameil Courtin-Wilson called Bastardy and of how he took Ameil and his naive film crew to his heroin spots for them to film him shooting up, the thought of which makes him laugh.  They followed him everywhere for 6 years. It is this openness that really struck a chord with me, he is so real, so raw. And this from a man who lived a life that would have broken most others. Today Jack is a busy man. Still operating from his humble flat, he is the movie star of the housing commission, his mobile phone chiming away constantly with messages from people who all want a piece of his time. He was meeting up with an old mate from the Box Hill boys home after our meeting, a man he hadn't seen for many many years, all part of the healing.  As well as the movies and TV, Jack has been asked to speak at prisons all over Australia, the black fellas request a visit from him and all line up to shake his hand after his speeches. Why do they listen to this old man? Having an elder visit who has been there, done that and survived must give them a sense of hope that they too can rise above the odds and achieve something positive for themselves. Jack pulls no punches. No doubt his honesty would have some of the white fellas concerned as he talks of the injustice of the system both historical and current, but my belief is that Australia needs to know just how racist it actually is before it can heal as a nation. While there is a blind spot, there is no healing. The tide is turning, it is taking some time, but it is happening. It takes the strength and love of a person like Uncle Jack to bridge the gap.

Im glad he survived. 

  Uncle Jack

Over the past few weeks I have been engaged in producing a video for my final folio in my Bachelor of Photography. It will bring to an end 5 years of school. 

It also is tying in perfectly with my life and journey of self. 

The video is about my search for some balance in this world. I am creating it to fulfil my desires as much as any need for school assessment, and is just the beginning on a new path for me. I used to tell stories in song, still do a bit but I also love to be able to tell a story in with an image or in this case a video with stills and movie, as well as a killer soundtrack by my good friend Ganga Giri. 

In doing this video, I also have had conversations with 2 people who are very dear to me, Damian Lannigan and Sifu Dana Wong. 

Both of these people are walking the path of their own truth. Both of them treat themselves and others with kindness and compassion. They are conscious beings.

In both conversations we discussed all manner of things to do with the system we live in, the way it conforms people to be robotic, "a perfect citizen" who plays by the boundaries set out in the ideal of the system we are born into. I asked if they thought geographic location plays a part in ones development of self, a nurturing of self consciousness. The thing right now I see from these conversations and my own thoughts is just that, we are guided from birth to fit into the ideal, given the illusion of choice (cars, clothes, whatever). How the individual chooses to respond to their own circumstances is up to them, we are limited by the situations that we find ourselves in, but we are not limited in the way we deal or respond to them, and there I feel is a great opportunity for everyone. In my conversation with my Sifu he expressed his feeling in that the system we live in is geared towards the opposite of growth, it forms you into the robots that will fit the mould. It is the antithesis of self enlightenment. 

So, how do we find that balance? Is there a balance at all? I can only tell you how I do it, I cannot do that for you, but my journey may help others. 

I have an example of mine that I am right in the middle of. It is seemingly a small matter that I could dismiss instantly, but I am choosing not to as I think there is something here, the timing is immaculate. 

I put up some business cards in an empty space at the supermarket in Ocean Grove yesterday. It was one of those card holders along side a large notice board. there were cards in the holder on the right, empty on the left. All good. This morning, literally moments after speaking to Sifu I received a text message, accusing me of throwing away someone else's business cards to make room for my own. This i most certainly did not do, it is not the way I act. When I spoke to the person he was feeling aggrieved,  and he would not believe me that I had not removed and thrown away his cards as he had only put his there the day before. How is it possible that 10 cards could vanish overnight only to have mine sitting in their place? This i cannot answer, perhaps there were 10 people who wanted his card! At first I felt anger as I was being unjustly accused and sent a follow up text saying so, as he had hung up on me. I could feel, and still can now feel the fight or flight response building in my system. Very quickly however, I realised that this could be a lesson for me. I sent a 2nd text to say we could meet and discuss this, and anything else that comes up. Why bother? I did ask myself that question. The reason I would bother to meet and talk to this person is that he has immediately judged an action and pinned it to me, therefore judging me as a person without ever having met me. His cards were gone, mine were there. Simple It must have been me that removed his cards.. So often we do this, we are conditioned to judge. Judgement has its own uses for sure, like deciding whether a shark in the surf is a threat; if there is a large shark there I would judge that it I am in immediate danger. Get out of the water. Pretty useful thing to be able to assess.  But judgement of others for things you think they may have done? I think this negative behaviour is a symptom of the ills of the system and society we inhabit. So many people will lie, steal, and basically live their lives in a selfish manner as the system has taught them to be. Everyone talks about love and kindness to children, and bullying in schools, but so many people do not live this. Bullying is rife in adult life. Why I wonder? When we tell our children not to lie or steal, be honest, all the while acting in a completely opposite manner towards our fellow human beings we are being hypocrites.  I think that the selling of the Australian Dream is a lie, it ties us to debt, keeps you working to buy the items we "need" to survive. it creates an environment of competition and fear. Why do we have so much hatred in the world? Same reasons. Judgment based on fear or misunderstanding. Judgement placed on as in this particular instance, value. Do I value myself over any one else ? Are my business cards more important than anyone else's? No and no. I believe we are all equal. I believe we should work together to nurture real truth, not assumptions based on fear or negative judgement. I ask myself why I judge others? I had done so until a realisation and clear understanding of how very wrong it was to judge. I cannot say what any situation does for anyone else, that is theirs alone. For me right now,  I am seeing the world with a new compassion, learning how powerful it is to accept the things in my life, take on the lessons given and learn from them whether they be difficult or not. There is no good or bad lesson. They are all equally opportunities for us to learn. It may be a seemingly very negative lesson to learn, but if you can extract the lesson, then you will learn from it. It is not good or bad, it just is. 

So, back to the business cards. What to do with this situation? I could have let it drop, I could have told this person to go take a long walk off a short pier. Neither of those responses appeals to me, so i have set up to meet this person and have a chat. Why? No doubt we will discuss the actual situation and there is a drive to clear my name, but i think that there is a bigger picture here. I am right now exploring the topic that looks at both the greatness of our world and the ills of society and I have this situation literally handed to me! I will go and meet this person. I have no idea where it may lead. I would like for him to see that not everyone is caught up in the small mindedness that pervades our society, maybe that will help him in some way. I really can't say, it is his choice to learn from this situation, or not. My lesson? haven't quite worked it out yet. I did nothing wrong. Perhaps I should have just let it go, but I don't like having any situation in my life where I feel that there is a problem, especially in a small community. I have lived here for over 12 years now and only in the last year have lessons such as this been coming up. They create a tension that is not pleasant. I would like to deal with that. So I go perhaps for selfish reasons after all! Haha! ah the irony. 

I do not have the answers, Im only just beginning to work it out for myself. Hopefully what ever comes of this current situation it can be of some use. I keep thinking "it could be good" but then I think, good for who? me? the other person? Both? Neither? Good or bad is judgement. I will go and meet with this person and we shall see what happens. 

Peace and love.

Tim 

PS. The meeting never eventuated as the man in question never got back to me "after work" as he said he would. So, I do not know what conclusion he arrived at. No point in even guessing really. For me, it was good to be honest, speak my truth even when not believed. I tried to sort it out, and am happy that I stood up for myself and didnt get angry or start with the blame etc. If the other party is not ready to accept/hear the lesson, that is their journey, not mine. :)

Hello all. 

I have a love/hate relationship with big industry.

The current system means that we rely on coal predominantly as a means of getting power, thankfully that is shifting but without much help from the politicians. 

This is a world issue. we need to stop seeing Australia as our world bc we are everything and everyone.  what we do to our selves and our home we do to the world. 

I am drawn to wide open spaces, i love the sounds, the feeling, the wind and sun on my skin. I also love to photograph these open spaces, but often find some closed up ones too. Fences dont keep me out for long, nor do the security signs. I am there to take photos. i dont try to photograph the worst of industry and name and shame, i dont need to, most of them do that quite well all by themselves! If the company has nothing to hide...

I look for beauty amongst the destruction, colours in the oil spills, cracked and withered land forms. Some may not agree that this is the best way forward, but i like it. i like seeing the beauty and photographing this way makes it more pallatable to the audience, and if they need a bit of honey to sweeten the spoonful, then so be it. Better than it not being seen at all. 

There are other people around the world who have already walked this path, I'm doing it here, not copying, but emboldened and encouraged that people like     Ed Burtyinsky have made a career from similar ventures.  The town closest to my home is an industrial town, Geelong. It is slowly dying as new tech takes over from the old, and now we see a community freaking out about the future. Ford and Alcoa have long been part of the landscape here, who can miss the Alcoa plant at point Henry? it sits on a very important bit of (Ramsar listed) salt marsh, right next to the old Cheetham salt refinery. What will happen to this land? good question. At the moment i can't get in due to big fences and over zealous security guards, but i will get there eventually, even if it is to document the last piece being removed from Alcoa in 20 years time...

We need world change. 

Be the change you want in your community. 

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1053166044744836.1073741850.336145669780214&type=3

I am currently doing a final year of study to complete a Bachelor in Photography, and it worked out well for me to take some shots at the PSC symposium for exchange of print credit. Excellent. Printing is very expensive. 

However, the people here are 3 VIPs of the photo world, not a good one to mess up! 

One the left is Susan Van Wyk, the curator of photography at NGV.

Centre is Daniel Boetker-Smith here is his small list of achievements :

• Co founder of Photobook Melbourne, Director of Asia Pacific Photobook Archive
• Writes for Vault Magazine, Photoeye and Photocell
• Winner of Bowness Photography Prize, Australian Centre for Contemporary Photography Award (documentary) and the Substation Art Prize
• Curated two international photobook events for NGV (Victoria) and MCA (New South Wales)
• Has been on the jury list for the Kassel Photobook Award in Germany

And on the right is Sean Brandt, one of Australias' leading photographers, he has had his work published all over the world and was an assistant for Guy Bourdin. 

So, no pressure, right?

This is a print competition that allows us to go up against the best pro shooters in Australia, and they are quite tough on the judging, as they should be.

Thanks to Denis for letting me go out to hang with his horses, Burger is a beautiful old horse who is retired, and Denis loves him so much he can’t face letting him go. May they grow old together!